Happiness is....

Eating homemade baklava at work *yum*

The kids at their families' for the holiday week :)

Getting the Wii Active Personal Trainer for Christmas

New candle and soap purchases from Patrice

Love and I talking and sharing this week, and realizing that, at the end of our everyday, it's all about us.

Going to the club around the corner from my house on New Year's and being able to walk home afterwards

Having the next four days off of work (and last week too!)

Knowing I will be moving out of the projects in the spring!

Deciding that losing 5 pounds a month for the next year sounds much more achievable than saying 60 pounds

Having Love ask me if I want to work out with him in the new year to reach our fitness goals.

Envisioning myself in a bikini on the beach with my Love and his matching six-pack.

Reaching for each one of my goals for my life and being more willing to participate in it!

Sending hugs and kisses to my online friends!

Enjoy the holiday, see you in the new year!
xoxo
Charisse

Glimpses of My Weekend....

- Being in NYC early on Saturday morning before the hordes of tourists arrive.

- Falling in love with dance again at the Ailey Extension, even though I was unable to participate because my morning business meeting ran over time. (I did speak with the instructor after class was over, who confirmed that I hadn't missed anything and can start anytime I want to!)

- Remembering that walking around NYC is one of the best exercises you can do for my mind, body and spirit.

- Realizing again that the subway is your friend, no matter how much I hate going underground.

- Eating at a restaurant which serves healthier, Greek-inspired food and wishing I was eating at Zoe's Kitchen  in Patton Creek in Hoover, Alabama, again (Hey Adrienne!).  I wish they would open one here in NYC and even wrote to Zoe's a couple of years ago about that.  (Yes I did, Adrienne, and they said it wasn't in their forecast! Blah!)  They aren't even interested in coming up north!  Double Blah!

That's all for now.
xoxo Charisse

Catching Up With My Life....

So, the visit in NC was absolutely great!  There was NO drama, if you can believe it.  Brother T's wife is very nice and I can see where she may clash with the Love's oldest sister, but it isn't that bad.  It really didn't turn out in a bad way at all.  I enjoyed myself and really like North Carolina.  I may move there in the future.


Lately, I have been feeling like I have nothing to be passionate about.  Nothing to look forward to, nothing to do, period.  Oh, I do have my art and I am just now getting back into creating a couple of things in my art journal, but nothing has really moved me.  I have been uninspired. That is until, I was watching a commercial for "So You Think You Can Dance", and then it hit me.  Well, it hit me AGAIN!!!  Let me explain.


My first love was dance.  I found dance in elementary school through a wonderful teacher named Mr. Goode.  Mr. Goode taught modern dance after school when I was in 5th and 6th grades and I fell in love with participating in dance.  I used to go to the library and check out the same book about The Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater over and over because I loved looking at the pictures and dreamed of being Judith Jamison performing "Firebird". I was so into dance that I was able to obtain a full summer scholarship to the Dance Theater of Harlem and even attended after school when school resumed that year.  Unfortunately, BOYS entered the picture and there was no real looking back for me.  Life came up and grabbed me and I put all aspirations behind me. 


I had found out in recent years that the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater offers dance classes for 'regular' folk and have been planning on taking classes since but haven't gotten around to it yet.  Every couple of months I check the schedule looking to see what classes I would like to participate in and always make plans to go register, but did not do it.  Well, that time has come and I ABSOLUTELY INTEND to take a class this coming Saturday and will continue to do so as a part of living my OWN life for a change!  I plan to take the "Beginner West African" and "SharQui Bellydance" classes.  I am nervous but I am looking forward to doing something for myself. 


I have decided that I need to make some goals for myself because I feel like I am just existing and stagnating, wasting time that I will not get back.  I am inspired by quite a few of you and because you are my friends, I have decided to share that list with you so that I can be held accountable.


1.  Dance classes 2x a month - because I need to follow my core passion and move my body and connect with others who feel like I do about moving and expressing myself with music.


2.  Workout 3x a week at home - because I have no excuse and I am tired of looking at my body and being unhappy with what I see.  I wanna look like Serena Williams and that ain't gonna happen by osmosis!


3.  Learn to sew - because my mother never let us touch her sewing machine and I really would like to make pretty things, like Adrienne and Patrice.


4.  Scrapbook at crops once a month - because I need to get out and be inspired by others who share my interests.


5.  Read at least one book a month - because a lot of times, I feel like I don't have anything to talk about and I think my mind is shrinking.


6.  Get my face made up professionally at the MAC store once every 3-6 months - just because I wanna see what I would look like all done up and perty!!!  LOL


I turn 40 next September 22nd and that is the date I intend to accomplish all of these goals listed.  I also intend to do other things too but this list is the main one!


Do you have anything you have wanted to do but havent gotten around to?  Well, join me in my quest and let's do this together!  Rent Julie & Julia too.  It was a really good boost to my motivation.


Love y'all
Charisse

Holiday Travel and Some Randomness for Good Measure

Heading south again but this time, no funerals!  The kids, Love and I are heading to North Carolina to surprise Love's brother.  Love's brother had gastric bypass surgery some years ago. He, unfortunately, had complications and ended up gaining more weight and dealing with an open wound for a few years now. He went to several specialists and had surgery this past summer to finally repair the trouble spot.  Love decided he wanted to go visit him since he has never been to this brother's house before and so we will be there for the Thanksgiving holiday.

Although I have been around Love's family for about 20 years, I only met this brother "T" when I went to Georgia for their mom's funeral.  He is married with 2 beautiful girls and is a good man that I can tell.  I have heard rumors about his wife though that give me pause.

Example No. 1, a neighbor of Love's other brother "C" cooked a spread of food for his home and for visitors for after the funeral.  Well brother "T", his wife, their kids, her mom, her sis and her niece were staying at brother "C"'s house.  Instead of being grateful for the gift, T's wife went out and bought her family Popeye's chicken.  Umm... how you do you say it?

"Houston, we have a problem!!"

Now I was there.  I ate the food and it was slammin'!!  I met the neighbors and they are good people.  I saw the Popeye's chicken but didnt put it all together until the above was told to me. 

Example No. 2.  I spoke with said wife to finalize our plans to stay her home and sleeping arrangements and such.  She was fine with it and made a couple of comments about "that older sister".  Love's older sister is an attorney who at most times acts a big "Bourgie" but is alright with me 'cause I really don't care!  Older sis is staying at the Marriott.  Well, when Older Sis and Love spoke about the arrangements, Older Sis' comment was "Better you than me!"

Me feels a bit of dram-uh may be in the works.

But I am all for it 'cause I will have a front row seat!  I'll give y'all the details when I get back on Monday!

Mothering

I blame my mother for nothing, but forgive her everything - Mary J. Blige


This quote makes my heart sad and hopeful at the same time.  Throughout history, all across the world, the general concensus is that whatever problems you may have, it all goes back to your mother!  Your mother!  My mother! Her mother! Their mother!!

We mothers have so very much to deal with and as we all know, there is no handbook, course or study material for the "real" life of a mother.  Oh, we can read all types of books on parenting a healthy child, what to and not to do, but being a mother entails more than helping you learn to tie your shoes and say "please" and "thank you".


Let me tell you about my mother.  Bernice was 36 years old by the time she had me, her first live born child, in 1970.  She had 3 miscarriages before me and based on the stories she told me, she really wanted me!  I love that! 


My mother was not married to my father and had to contend with him questioning whether I was really his child because I didnt look anything like him, 'cause I was light-skinned with chinky eyes and good hair.  He said I looked like the "Chinese laundry man's baby. "  Bernice, of course, cursed my dark-chocolate skinned, skinny, older father out about it.  My younger sisters, as you can see, came out looking more like him. 

My grandfather told her that he should have been glad that he could still produce a child as old as he was.  My father was 17 years older than my mother. 


She was his mistress for 20 years and had 3 children by him.  She claimed she couldn't stand his black ass, but I know that she had to be madly in love with him to stay around for that long.  I remember they used to go on dates from time to time.  He never lived with us and when I questioned her about that later, she said that he had a very high sex drive.  Of course, that made me think that she thought he may try to touch one of us girls inappropriately, but I never asked her outright.  It would have dug too deep.  I do think, however, that she may have been sexually abused or assaulted when she was younger and so she just didnt trust any man around us.


My mother raised us by herself.  I only remember seeing my father 3 times a year, at most.  Bernice was a nurse who worked hard to take care of us but was bad at managing money to a certain extent.  Looking back, I can see where the money went, but I also see a better way of handling it.  She did her best though and I can only respect that.  My father didn't give her money for support because he didnt really acknowledge us.  It's deep.


So my mother did her best.  She taught us how to handle ourselves as ladies.  How to sit on a couch instead of plopping down.  How to cook, how to clean, how to be respectful to our elders.  She even taught us how to drink by allowing us to drink at age 15, but only in the house with her so she could monitor how each of us would react to alcohol.  It was only rum and coke or wine coolers, but she taught us how to handle our liquor and when to say enough is enough.  She slow-walked us through make-up and high heels and smoking and boys.  She had set ages at which we could do all those important things and it was a good method because by the time we could do all of them, they really had lost their appeal.  (Except the boys!!! LOL Boys are always appealing!)


She did all of this but now I wonder, who was taking care of her?  As I look at my life focused on my children, I see where there are people here and there to pull me out of my own head.  My mother had a few but not as many as I do.  She didnt go out with her girlfriends.  She didnt hang out at the clubs.  My mom was always there.  ALWAYS THERE!  It is amazing how much we cherish as we get older but don't see when we are in the midst of it.  I appreciate that she got all of her partying out before she had us (as she put it).  I do wish she would have been more active and outgoing when we were coming up but she made her decision and that was that. 


I hope that my children appreciate that I am still learning but doing my very best to take care of them and myself.  I have made mistakes and done things I regret but my children always come first, as it was with my mother and as it always should be for all mothers!


Thank you Mommy.
xoxo
Charisse

In Memory of My Friend

My friend, my cousin, Ms. Cynthia Berry, lost her battle with cancer on Monday, October 26th, just before her 39th birthday!  She was a beautiful, purpose-filled woman who spent her final days how she wanted, at home with her children.

Cindy was so driven to succeed in whatever she set her mind to.  She spoke fluent Spanish.  She went to college and then law school, graduating at the top of her class each time.  She worked in the legal field and when she bored of that, she switched to the real estate field, where she excelled with ease.  She also dabbled in the music business in her "spare" time, songwriting and managing musical acts, and organizing fashion shows. 


Aside from her professional life, she was a good friend and loved her family most of all.  She has been to almost all of the family events for each holiday for the past 7 years, without only a slight glitch, which she was highly upset about.  She loved spending time with her cousins, from the oldest to the youngest.  Her older daughter and my youngest daughter are inseparable when they are around each other.  Cindy made sure that family stayed connected.  It was very much her focus in life.


She was in Stage IV and taking the radiation treatment but that wasn't enough. I kind of knew from our conversation last month that she wouldn't be around to spend Thanksgiving with us this year, but I was hopeful! When Love and I made plans to go down south this year, it was in my thoughts that it would be my first time not being home and not having her around for the holiday. Now I know that deep down we both knew she wouldn't be around for the holiday. I do have to respect the fact that she chose to be home with her kids, and do things on her own terms. The type of person she is would not allow her to be stuck in a hospital bed, not being able to enjoy her last days.



Cindy had my back from the first day we met. She was around when I went through a lot of mess with the ex, Moe but mind you, she is Moe's cousin, not mine! She had no problem telling him when he was wrong and that he messed up. When she met Love last year at Thanksgiving dinner, and Moe called, she let him know that although she was his cousin, it was his fault that he wasnt there, not hers, and that she wasnt going to miss out on my cooking because of his stupidity. Then she told Moe that she liked Love and that it was Moe's loss! That was my girl!!! She pulled no punches.


Ms. Cynthia Berry is preceeded by her father and older sister, both to cancer. She leaves behind her mother Hazel, her 10 year old daughter, 3 year old twin daughter and son, and a very large extended family here in NY.


Kiss your loved ones who are close, and call the ones who are far.
Every day is a present, enjoy the gift!


xoxo
Charisse

My Favorite Things in Pink

Pink Roses!!

Pretty Pink Girly Bedrooms

Creating Beauty with My Own Hands!!!

xoxo

Charisse

My Days Lately

-I had to take the day off yesterday to handle some important business with regard to my living situation.

-I wasnt feeling well this morning and something kept telling me to stay home but I ignored it and got on the bus because Love couldnt drive me.  I had just taken yesterday off so why would I take another day, a Friday off, you know. Need to put my best foot forward to keep my job!  Well, when I got there, I started feeling worse and my supervisor looked at me and said that I should go home!  Um WOO HOO!  Thank you!  I texted Love and asked if he could pick me up and he came about 45 minutes.

-Although I can get to work on the bus pretty easily, it is hard during midday because the bus directly to my house only runs during rush hour, morning and night.  So good thing Love drives for his job and has different routes and was able to come get me.  He dropped me right off and went on his way with only a little delay! I came straight upstairs, undressed and got right in bed.  I slept for about 2 hours and felt much better afterwards.

-I feel like painting and creating something pretty!  I cleaned my art area the other day in anticipation of my mojo coming back and I think it worked!  Whatever I start, I will show you all.

-My iPhone is so cool and I enjoy it very much.  Here is a picture to share with you all!

This is my gynecologist on the fishing boat with us 2 weeks ago!  LOL

Looking pretty to go see Maxwell in concert!!

Talk to you all later!!!

xoxo

Charisse

What I'm Grateful for TODAY!!!

-My beautiful children, even though the boy has, yet again, forgotten to call me to let me know he is home.

-My puppy dog, Miss Rose, who is spoiled, needs a good brushing and is oh so affectionate.

-Getting a ride to and from work most days from this man, laughing and being friends to each other, being in love with each other and wondering every day we see each other if we should or should not be together for life.

-Waking up this morning and thanking the Father for all the blessings, good tidings, love, stress and this LIFE in general!

Love y'all

xoxo

Charisse

Posting Pink for the "Girls"

For my beautiful baby girl who is such a blessing and light in my life.


For her big cousin Cindy Berry, who is in Stage IV and defying the odds placed on her living every day!


Her will to live is much stronger than your statistics and we all knows that GOD is a healer!!!


She WILL be at my house Thanksgiving this year with her kids and her mom, just like the past 7 years!


Because we WILL find a cure way before we give up!!!


xoxo
Charisse

Go Mommy, It's Your Birthday......

Yup, it's my birthday!!! 
I am celebrating the 10th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday! 
Do the math.  I'll wait.......
Got it?  Yeah, I thought you would!  LOL 

Thank you in advance for the birthday wishes.

Last night, the kids were acting mighty suspicious but I left them alone to do the things they needed to do.  I was actually grateful for a little time alone while I cooked dinner.  Love called me to tell me he was picking up the kids and so I knew there were surprises to be had today.

This morning, I get a text message from Love saying Happy Birthday.  Then he comes over and gives me a large canvas (24" x 48") to paint on.  I had dropped a hint that it was something I wanted a couple of months ago.  Nice to know he listens : )  I can't wait to just go crazy with it and create something with my heart. I intend to make something to go on the wall over my bed or my dresser.

When the kids get up, I am told to go into my room and finish getting dressed.  Then they come in with Little Momma first handing me a card.  It is so sweet and one of those pop-up cards, which I love!  I notice that my son is holding an AT&T bag with a bow on it.  He hands it to me and I look at it funny because it is flat.  LOL  I look inside anyway and find a receipt, which Love quickly takes from me, saying "No, not that.  Look again!"  I open the bag all the way this time and find two AT&T gifts cards, $100 & $25.  Little Momma says, "That's for your iPhone!"  WHATTTT????  Talk about shocked!!! Love says that they tried to buy the phone for me at the store but couldn't because the account holder has to buy it!  That is enough money to buy the 8G one and an accessory!  I feel so special!!!  It is one of those things that I said I wanted but then was like, "What would I do with it? I don't talk to that many people."  But now, I will be doing more research on exactly what I CAN do with it and go pick it up by the end of the week!  Y'all need to email me your phone numbers and stuff 'cause I am gonna call you from my new phone when I get it!  LOL

I think I may add the extra $75 and get the 16G because it is the newest one!

At work, I got a cake in the conference from some of my coworkers and that is always fun! 

On Facebook, I got a BUNCH of birthday wishes and I am hoping they havent stopped yet!  The day isnt over until midnight, you know!  I love birthday wishes!  They make me VERY HAPPY!!!

I don't know what tonight will hold but I am grateful for so much anyway that I am sure just sitting on the couch, watching TV with the kids will be perfect!

Love should be here in a little bit to take me home so I can spend the rest of my "born-day" with my loved ones. Maybe some more cake, a little ice cream, a bunch of hugs and kisses and more research online about the iPhone!  LOL

Have a happy y'all, I know I am.
xoxo
Charisse

Monday Monday.....

How are y'all this morning?  I am good and blessed.  Here is a recap of my weekend....

-Morgan State beat Winston-Salem in overtime.  It was a good game.

-The Bands are the BOMB!!! I loved all the music and the choreography!

-I didnt know that so many people hang out in the parking lot, as many who were inside, were outside!  LOL

-I only saw one fool walking around with a huge hat and a WWE wrestling belt.  Not too much foolishness out there.  I was disappointed!!!

-I ran into relatives of the ex-hubby (Moe), who were all too happy to take pictures of me and Love to rub in Moe's face later.  These are grown men too!  They are worse than women!

-I spent the night at Love's place on Saturday night and on Sunday morning, about 7am, there was a knock on the door....then another knock.  Hmm, who could it be?  Parole officer or a woman?  I say woman.  So I look out the window and see girlfriend walking to her car while Love goes out the front door.  She gets out of the car when she spots him and I get dressed and walk out there, straight to where they are standing.  I ask "What is this?", to which Love says to her, "This is Charisse".  She says hello and looks to Love like he is going to save her from something.  I ask again, "What is this?" and Love tells her he will call her later.  She starts walking to her car and I say........ ('cause I am Charisse and ain't no F-ing slouch),

"Won't you come on in?  You drove all this way.  Come on inside!"   

Love leads me away gently and asks me to not cause a scene in front of his house. 

She is the one who he had been spending time with since July.  She took him shopping and gave him money to buy the necessities for his room and bought his big screen tv for him.  Yeah.....I know.  Sugar mama.  He told me that he hadn't spoken to her in almost 2 weeks, has not been answering or returning her phone calls.  I can believe it because he has been around me so much and a woman won't just show up like that unless she has a real reason to.  He claims he is glad that now he is rid of her.  I say, whatever! Of course, I cursed him out and let him know that I will NOT be a part of the game playing because it is too much of an emotional drain to go through, on top of what I have already gone through.  I had already stopped calling him and started pulling away.  He, of course, has latched on tighter to me in a way but I am proud to say that I have NOT spazzed out because of him and I don't want to.  I have chosen to keep myself a bit removed from the drama that is going on. 

So, it was a crazy day!

-Sunday was peaceful.  I cooked ribs, collard greens and yellow rice and it was good, of course! 

That's it for now.  Talk to you later!
xoxo
Charisse

Month of Firsts For Me!

September is a month full of surprises and firsts and good things in my life.

-We were on a reduced 32-hour work schedule for the summer and this week was the first 5-day week since May. I love getting a full paycheck again, but miss the day off.

-Tomorrow, I am going to the New York Urban League 38th Annual Football Classic. This is something I have always wanted to go to but only now have I decided to do it because my son loves football and I want him to see what it is like to play college football. Maybe he will be inspired to do better or maybe realize that it is not for him. Either way it will be an experience.

-I have never been tailgating, or major sports event before. Well...I have if you count seeing Dave Winfield and the Yankees at Yankee Stadium back in like, 1980-something. I was too young to appreciate baseball then but I was there.

-Thank you Adrienne for sparking that interest in me with your posts from the games you attend! I am sure I will have stories and pictures but I won't be able to elaborate like you do, Adrienne! You see the humor in EVERYTHING!!!

-I hear from my sister that the whole college football experience is awesome. I didnt go to college away so I have NO experience in that area. Good thing I spoke to her about it because I was gonna leave to get to Giant Stadium only 2 hours ahead of time and thought with a 2pm kickoff, we would be done by around 5pm. Uh, yeah, duh on my part! My bad....;)

-I turn 39 on Tuesday, the 22nd of this month and I am grateful to know that I still have SO much more to learn! When you are 19 and naive, you think that you will have all of the answers by 30. Ain't God great for constantly surprising us with His wisdom and world knowledge?

-I bought tickets to go see Maxwell at Madison Square Garden on the 28th too!  I love him and although I feel like the number of songs on the new album could have been more, it is a good album.  I am happy to say that Maxwell always delivers.

-My sister sells this "Tastefully Simple" stuff and she is working it out to get good and make a living off of it, for a second income.  I have never been into those types of things because, well, I am lazy and don't like  having to "sell" any product.  I did not do well in retail when it was based on commission!  LOL  They fired me from that job after 30 days.  That was torture and I was so happy to be let go!  LOL

That's it for now.  Talk to y'all later.

Enjoy your weekend.
xoxo
Charisse

My First Time Fishing.....

and I had a wonderful time. We didn't get into "us" at all. We just enjoyed the day!

 

 

 

 

xoxo
Charisse

My Oldest is 17 and Other Randomness

My oldest daughter turned 17 on September 2nd. I sent her an email and she responded that she would take my email into consideration and that she would not speak to me, ever. Um, ok you little ungrateful bitch!

Today is the first day of school for my younger two kids. At least they appreciate me and are grateful for what they have.

My 1998 Dodge Grand Caravan has officially kicked the bucket. I decided it wasnt worth replacing the transmission. She will be missed.

I will get a newer and better car in November. I am claiming The Father's blessings in my life!

Love has been driving me to and from work most days.

Yes, I can take the bus but when you are getting a free ride, why turn it down?

Speaking of free rides, why is it that Love has moved out into his own room but is at my house EVERYDAY, morning and night, almost like he never left at all?

Could it be because I never took the keys? Yeah, that be it!

I am adjusting to what it was like to be single again, somewhat.

Kind of hard to do that when a man keeps showing up in the morning and at night when he says he isn't coming over.

What did you say? Take back the keys? I heard you the first time.

The kids had a good day at school today.

I am making broiled turkey kielbasa and buttered pasta with sweet peas for dinner.

I took the bus to work this morning and will get a ride home tonight.

I was up at 5am this morning in order to get the kids up and ready for school and catch my bus.

The bus isnt really that bad.

I am going to run a luxurious bath for myself later with a yummy Patrice candles and soap and relax.

Talk to y'all later.

We Both Did 10 Years

Him.... in prison.
Me.... in a bad relationship that turned to a bad marriage.

Since October 2007, when we started writing to each other, we have been a part of each other's everyday.

He came home in April 2008. In April 2008, I was separated for a year.

I encouraged and supported him emotionally while he attended training and employment for a new life. He encouraged me and supported me emotionally in moving past the internal scars of an mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive relationship, to my new single life.

I pushed him away so that he would be able to experience this world, find what he had been missing and live.

He pushed harder to experience it with me, said what he was missing was with me and he was living.

He said he wanted to take a chance. I got tired of pushing away the kind of man I said I wanted and decided to take a chance as well.

In my marriage, I gave myself fully and lost touch with who I am. He lost his 30's to a bad decision.

We are both scrambling to gain ground to make up for lost time. I get stuck in my own head, wanting to make sure I don't fall back into what I had in the past. He feels stuck thinking he is missing something in life.

What do I know today?

He moved into a room of his own, to experience it for the first time in his life.

It's only 5 minutes away from my house

I see him everyday. Everyday.

He risks his parole curfew in order to be here with me.

His mail still comes here.

He is getting my transmission fixed for me.

He is spending time with another woman as I type.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I found this beautiful quote on a blog last week and it is so appropriate.

"What you do speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am in love still and I must be blind because I keep feeling like he loves me too.

Just pray for me, y'all.....
Charisse

Spazz Much???

Well, this past month has been absolutely crazy! You know, where there is a man involved! Yeah, that kind of crazy! Can I get a prayer and a hug? I totally need a few! On the good side of it, I have lost a few pounds from the freaking stress but I have not cried so much EVER!!! That's what you get when you think THIS one is the ONE and you get a reality check, again! Now, I am not saying it is all completely over because, as these things go, it isn't completely over. It's getting there though. Been taking a month now and it is tiring to say the least!

I can't even say that I have my sanity intact because I feel like it is actually only hanging on by a string! I have spazzed out, cried out, sobbed, cursed, spazzed again, blocked him from leaving, kicked him out, packed his stuff, brought it back, loaded it up in my van and moved him. That is a lot! Did I mention that I have spazzed? Oh my goodness, I need to make that my credo, "Charisse Will Spazz, Just Give It Time!"

Honestly though, I am tired and emotionally worn out. Is it a phase? Maybe. Does he love me? I actually know he does. Is he worth waiting for? Nah, but it's hard to let go, you know. It is pressing on though, like waiting for that inevitable car crash! Like watching paint dry with fireworks goin on around you! Yeah, crazy, I know but that is what is going on right now in my life.

I sure do live up to my blog name, huh?

Love ya and please pray for me...
Charisse

Yeah, I've Been Away for a While But I'm Back Now..

How have y'all been? Good, I hope. My last post dealt with me going to South Carolina for a funeral. All in all, it was a good visit. I spent time with my "family" and really enjoyed myself. I got to get out of NYC and I am all the better for it! I love travelling. It soothes my soul and gets the spiderwebs out of my mind.

But being as I am me, and my life is full of drama, I came home to some drama! Some with Love and some with my oldest daughter. I won't go into details but Love and I are still together and oldest daughter and I are still estranged. Such is this life I lead and the reason for the name of my blog!

Here's what I have been into lately:

I feel in love with the soap and beauty creations that Patrice is making and want her to hurry up and open her Etsy shop so I can buy some stuff.

My girl Christina is so very eloquent and she makes me wish I could just be around her every day waiting for her to share her knowledge and her nurturing spirit with me. Her kids and hubby are definitely blessed.

My creative juices are dry right now so I am loving looking at Sasha's scrapbook pages for inspiration. Hopefully my mojo will kick in soon!

Of course, I can't start or finish my day without being on Facebook! It is such an obsession. I went from having 6 friends to 96 friends in a matter of one week and I am now up to 199! I really didnt know I knew that many people but you know what, I LIKE IT!

Anyway, that is all for now! Talk to you soon!

xoxo
Charisse

Heading South Again........For Another Funeral (unfortunately)

My Aunt Hazel died this past Saturday morning. I am heading to Georgetown, South Carolina via Charlotte, North Carolina on Thursday afternoon.

Hazel Linen came into my life in 1985 when her daughter and I met and became best friends in high school. Hazel was loud and bossy and skeptical of me but I won her over by being terrified of her! LOL After she felt me out, she welcomed me into the family wholeheartedly. I spent A LOT of time at their house, hanging out and having fun. Ms. Hazel allowed me in with no questions asked.

When my family ended up homeless and living in a shelter, she offered to let me move in with her family. My mother wasn't going to let us be separated but she appreciated the offer. I knew then Hazel loved me and that is when she became "Aunt" Hazel. I especially knew she loved me when on my 16th Birthday, she sent her daughter to school with a box full of candy and treats that she got from her job at the candy factory in the Bronx!

My first trip to the South was with Aunt Hazel. I went with her family to celebrate her parents' 50th anniversary. It was my first time traveling past New Jersey. She teased me about being "nice-nasty" while we cleaning up the little house she was selling down there. She laughed at my first experience with a little lizard that scared the mess out of me. She schooled me about not crossing the next door neighbors' front yard to get to the general store because it was "rude" and plus they were racist.

Aunt Hazel was never had a problem giving you her opinion and most of the time, she was right! She gave good advice and never steered you wrong. She was funny and happy and loved living life.

Aunt Hazel was there for all of my major life lessons....my first boyfriend, my first apartment, my first child. She congratulated me on my college graduation. She was happy if I was happy and full of advice and care when I called her for advice.

I visited her when I traveled to Georgetown to attend my best friend's wedding in 2002. She had pictures of me from high school and my college graduation and pictures of my children too.

When I married "Moe" in 2004, she had already retired and moved back home to Georgetown. She and Uncle John had car issues and couldn't make the trip but she sent my present in the mail. My sweet Aunt Hazel made my purse to hold my cards and my garter for my "something blue".

She was a very special person to me and I am glad that she loved me and allowed me into her life. I am blessed to have had her in mine.

xoxo
Charisse

You Rocked Our World! RIP Michael

I don't know about y'all, but I am in Michael Jackson overload! I changed my ringtones to MJ songs. I downloaded Thriller and Off The Wall on iTunes and I am listening to them right now! I feel so happy listening to these songs and they really bring me back to my early childhood!!! His voice makes me so happy and I can't stop smiling!!! Are you feeling the same way? Is it just me?

I didnt see the BET Awards last night. I forgot the show was coming on. I did see Janet looking beautiful and real on the news this morning. To us, Michael was indeed a part of our life but he was their family, their brother, their uncle, their child. He was a person who was complicated and magical and so elusive and so distant to us regular people. He was their family, their heart!

He is with The Father now, wearing his wings and resting in peace from all the controversy, true or not. It is not for us to pass judgment on Michael any longer. It is up to us to praise his talent and music and humanity. It is up to us to remember that he was indeed a Black man who had issues, just like the rest of us and he has gone on to a better place.

I think he is in much better company, if you ask me!

RIP Michael and tell my mom I said hey!

xoxo
Charisse

My Son is 14 and other Randomness

-My son turned 14 years old yesterday. He got 2 pairs for cleats from Love, two Under Armour shirts that help keep out the heat (?) from me, and $300 from his Dad! I would say that is a good birthday!

-Thanks to Facebook, I met up with one of my junior high school friends on Sunday and we had a blast catching up. She is also going to be a bad influence in telling me about these low cost wines that she found.

-Speaking of wine, I am not a drinker but there are just times when I need a little something to take off the edge. Hard liquor is too much and so I recently discovered wine spritzers. Yes, I am a softie, but spritzers are right up my alley. Now if this Seven Daughters wine and Yellow Tail wine that my girl told me about are as good as she says, I may not need to "spritz" them and can have them on chill when the time is appropriate. LOL

-I just held a newborn baby boy. I miss that feeling, that smallness, the innocence and helplessness. I didn't miss him taking a dump while I was holding him!

-I spend way too much money on iTunes but it's like a sickness! I don't want to take a chance and download a virus on Limewire.

-My favorite gospel song is "His Eye is On the Sparrow" and I think the best version is by Tanya Blount and Lauryen Hill from Sister Act II. It brings tears to my eyes everytime!

Well, that's all for now!

xoxo
Charisse

Saturday Music Mix

-Teena Marie and Faith Evans definitely worked their new song "Can't Last A Day"! I HAD to get it on ITunes. Welcome back Teena!

-How many of y'all love Sylvester? I love his music....Do You Wanna Funk???

-Mary and George Michael singing "As". The video makes me want to hit up the club!

-Since the kids are wearing leggings and bright colors and copying the '80s, why not a little bit of Lisa Lisa?

-Last but not least, just a little extra FYRE for my sweet Christina and any of you who want a little bit of Sister Nancy!

Enjoy!
Charisse

Happiness Comes from the Simple Things.....

-My son and his "first love"
-My daughter and niece striking a pose
-My Love and I
-Pictures lost and now found, thanks to family reconnections
-My mother and her girls (makes me happy and sad at the same time. Miss you Mommy!)

Thanks for the assignment, Christina! Luv you!

xoxoxo
Charisse

Online Friends are the BEST!!!

So I got home from work last night and went about making my way from dropping groceries on the counter in the kitchen to saying hi to the kids, to saying hi to the dog and then going into the bedroom to change my clothes. I stop in the living room to turn on some music on the computer and notice a package addressed to me on the desk. I look at it and S M I L E because the return address is that of my "online" friend, the lovely Ms. Christina! I love that the mailing label says 'Christina Martin Photography" 'cause my girl is a SLAMMING photographer! Anyhoo, I open the package and see a beautiful journal notebook with cool graph paper inside and the outside reads "Be the change you wish to see in the world"! I love that quote! Then I see a card with a beautiful picture on the front and a handwritten little note on the inside from my girl! Just as I am about to sit and read the card again, I notice a red plastic bag at the bottom of the mailing envelope. Inside is the prettiest beaded bracelet with my favorite colors of peach, pink and brown to blend with my skintone and it fits my wrist perfectly without pinching! That's the absolute best part. Why?? Because even with thousands of miles separating us, from Milwaukee to The Bronx, Christina knows....
We fluffy girls like to wear pretty things too!

Thank you so much, Christina!!!

Family and Beach Fun!

I took my first road trip with my sister, my 2 youngest and my niece to see our cousins in Winterville, North Carolina. They moved down there 2 years ago and it was my first time seeing them in about 4 years. I like where they live. It's really nice and cozy. It is on the list of places I would move too. We went to Atlantic Beach too and I truly enjoyed that! Gotta love the beach!

Is it me, or are the clouds lower in NC than anyplace else? They were absolutely beautiful!!!

Peace and love.
Charisse

Hey Y'all....Long time no see...Aint he FINE????

I got a bunch of random stuff to talk about today...

-The trip to ATL ended up being extremely fun and happy time because we celebrated Love's mom's life! She was a fun woman and so her children and extended family had fun instead of wallowing in sorrow. The services were all held in Macon and we got together at Love's uncle's house to celebrate! Then we all went back to ATL and Love and I house-hopped to make sure we had everybody covered. The only downside was that Love was so overcome with emotion and pain when he saw his mom for the first time in the chapel that he punched the wall. His strong hand was no match for the brick, mortar and touch of asbestos in that old Macon funeral home. It swelled up, turned colors and everything. He went to the dr. when we got back to NY and they claim it isnt broken but wanted to wait until the swelling went down to exam it again. It is almost back to normal size and color, but still hurts. I can't wait until he takes x-rays.

-My oldest, Diva, has done what she wants to do and will continue to do so no matter what. She sent me a nasty email disowning me and disrespecting me, then posted a disrespectful note on my Facebook wall. I just responded to both by telling her that I love her and hope all is well with her. Her father was supposed to take over and do some stuff but it doesnt seem that way. He doesnt like to share things with me, and so I only know what I happen to find out here and there. I see that her little missives to me are actually very informative so I take them with a grain of salt and try to look for the good in them. At least I know she is alive! I figure that I will get served with some papers soon from her father, for either ceasing child support since she doesnt live with me, and/or custody. Either way he will lose so I am not worried.

-Love's daughter, Miss Missy, and my youngest, Little Momma, both had dance recitals this past week! They did so very well and I am so proud of both of them! I used to dance when I was younger too. I even went to the Dance Theater of Harlem for a summer when I was 13. I miss dancing and keep saying that I want to get back into it! I need to get off my ba-dunk and do it!

-Love and I like to get out early in the morning and spend quality time together, just talking and connecting to each other, getting coffee and sorting out our days. I feel that it is the most important thing we do to maintain our relationship with each other and I wouldnt trade it for another hour or so of sleep, as much as I may complain inside about really wanting to sleep later. LOL

-While on a morning run in ATL after borrowing his sister's car, I had this feeling, in my left ring finger. A feeling like I needed to have something on that finger and in my mind, I heard "someone" telling me that I needed to get that divorce that I have been putting off. The feeling was very strange, almost real, like a ring was actually on my finger and then having those words go through my head, it was very surreal. I later told Love that I would be work on getting the papers together so that I could be free from the ex (Moe) by the end of the year. Love smiled but didnt say a word. I told him that just in case he decided to propose to me when we hit 20 years together, I wanted to make sure I was free! LOL

Ok, that's it for right now y'all.

Peace and love..
Charisse

Going to the ATL.....but not for vacation :(

Love's mother passed away on Friday, May 1st. He took it pretty well but I know from experience that it will truly hit at the funeral.

Ms. Margaret is a woman who raised 8 wonderful children, with lots of laughter and love. A woman who endured physical abuse and kept going strong. A woman who endured two of her sons going to prison and loved them the same. A woman who worked to provide when her husband was too ill to work and stayed dedicated and true until the day he passed away 10 years ago. A woman who was able to live a less strenous and leisurely life in Atlanta after her husband passed because of the children who brought her there and provided for her day in and day out to pay her back for the love and more she provided for them.

Before she became my mother in law, she was my best friend's mother. I spent a lot of time at their house, fooling around and hanging. Ms. Margaret was always there, cooking something, talking sense into us and making us laugh so hard that our sides would be sore. This is how I will always remember her. She was very no-nonsense and very sweet at the same time. A reflection of the life she lived and how life in general had treated her.

I respect her so much and now that she is gone, that respect will live on more and more each day because although I was in the family through her youngest daughter, I am doubly in the family because of being loved by Love.

She indeed gave me a blessing and I am eternally grateful.

Airline tickets to and from Atlanta, Georgia - $800
Cost of dog boarding that was quickly replaced by Plan B - $200
Having a Joyful Celebration in bright colors for Margaret Ann Reeves Sr. -
PRICELESS

It's Time to Let Her Grow Up....

My oldest daughter is going through a major phase of rebellion at this stage in her life. She is 16 years old and a half, taller than me, beautiful and thinks she is all-knowing of the ways of the world. I have been the best mother I know how to be and yet it isnt enough for her. She is extremely disrespectful and feels that I have not been there for her somehow but she hasn't pinpointed exactly where. There are other issues as well that have affected our lives that have been out of our control, people coming and going through death, separation, life in general, but I have always been right there. She doesnt seem to think that is what is important. Thus, we got into a physical fight back in July 2008 wherein she found out that Mommy is Mommy until you swing on her and then Mommy reverts to "Risse from Da Bronx who may not like to fight but knows how to put the beats on dat ass when absolutely necessary!!!" So she had been living with my sister in Delaware since then to get herself together, make a fresh start and do better.

My sister is much more patient than me, more open in some areas and even her patience has been tested by my oldest. Oldest has disrespected her and shown rebellion but all in all, since oldest was stuck in Delaware with no place to go, she didnt go all out like when she was home with me. She even disrespected my sister's man and she still got to stay. (Keep this in mind for future reference)

So, after 8 months in Delaware, my oldest decided that she wanted to spend spring break with me and her siblings. I said fine, of course. She appeared alright but since I know her, I knew something had to be brewing and that she had ulterior motives. Within the first 2 days, she went and got her tongue pierced and didnt tell me. My son noticed something in her mouth and asked about it. Spot blown up! I did the lecture about disease and not asking permission and all and she was like, "well I wanted it". Yeah. Ok.

Well, when Easter weekend came, all 3 of my kids went to my ex's house and spent 3 days there. The oldest 2 came back on the third day and Little Momma stayed with her daddy for the rest of the week. Cool. My son gives me no real issues so it was fine for him to be at home. The oldest was spending time with her girlfriends and letting me in on every step. Progress, right? Well it all hit the fan on this past Friday when she lied and said she was with her friends and in the same conversation said that they werent with her. Ummm, what? "Ok, well be home by nine-thirty!", I said, to which she stated she would not be, and hung up on me. Yeah, ok...

So she spent the night out Friday night and Saturday night, with no contact. I was only slighly worried because I have been through 3 run aways with her and so the routine gets old. My sister called Sunday to confirm oldest's bus schedule and brought her up to date on the drama. She contacted oldest and spoke to her, asking her where her head was and why was she being disrespectful. My sister informed oldest that she should have learned something in the 8 months in Delaware and that oldest should call her back in an hour and tell her one thing, just one little thing she learned and then she would be able to return to Delaware, make amends with me and move on. Yeah, ok....

Oldest called her back 3 hours later saying she couldnt think of anything and my sister asked her what would be her forwarding address since she would not be coming back to Delaware. Oldest didnt even know what a forwarding address was. My sister told her to call me. Oldest called me and said "your sister said to call you". Mmmm, ok. I asked what was up and she told me my sister told her she couldnt come back to Delaware. I asked her what she was going to do and she said it was "up to y'all", to which I told her, no, it was up to her since she was making grown-up decisions and hung up on her. I havent heard from her since.

She has no clothes, no money, but she has her ticket back to Delaware and a cellphone with minutes on it to contact me, my sister, her father, her stepfather, and whomever else she needs to when the time hits.

As much as it hurts me, I have placed her in The Father's Loving Arms and put ALL of my faith in His divine plan for our lives. I cannot accept her disrespect and misguidance and I will be here waiting for her when she finally comes around.

Until then I am sad but not forsaken...
Charisse

Layoffs Suck!!

No, I didnt get laid off,
but you couldn't tell me that I wasnt on that list this morning. It came as a total surprise this morning that people were getting laid off to begin with. It didnt matter if you were there 7 years or 1 year, cutbacks affect everyone. A total of 9 people got laid off today and it was sad to see 2 of my lunch buddies go. There had been a lot of closed door meetings going on but none of the "indians" knew the details. It finally culminated with today, from the Chief Operating Officer to the receptionist. Nine lives were affected greatly today and it was so totally sad.

There, but for the Grace of My Heavenly Father, go I.

Y'all know darned well that I was on my best behavior today, filing all my stuff away, organizing things and all that! I was so shook though. I just KNEW they were going to call my name!!! We lost one person in my dept, which was amazing.

In the afternoon, the whole company was called to a meeting to discuss the day's events. The little perk we get each morning of bagels and pastries? GONE!! The snacks and special flavored coffee? GONE!!

The biggest change will be hours being cut during a fifteen week period in the summer. Everyone in the company will work and only get paid for 32 hours. Thirty two hours of the 40 we normally work. Some people were upset but you know what? Thirty-two is just fine with me! It means I still have a job. It means I will still be able to put food on the table for my family. It also means that I will be able to enjoy the summer without having to take any vacation days and that means a lot.

So, I am counting my blessings and keeping my head to the sky! I am grateful!

xoxo
Charisse

Ode to the Street Mechanic

Oh, Mr. Street Mechanic
with an obvious habit of taking things illegal,
thank you for your wisdom and expertise, as you are indeed
"The Front End Specialist".
While those who are unfamiliar with our culture would be
so very wary of you, we, your brethren, recognize
your fine abilities and appreciate your cheap prices.
You put the shops to shame, sitting outside your trailer
with the other "ol' skool" car specialists who sit and
take a taste everyday with you, watching over the
community, even if what you do may be considered illegal.
You diagnosed a bent left axle, sent us to the legal spot
to get the new part, told us to come back in 45 minutes
and only charged us $75. You even sent us to get the
rebate for the old axle. In your own words, my minivan does
indeed "ride like a Cadillac".

If you are ever in need of the best mechanic around the Bx,
just ask for Say-Hey and it shall be granted.

Amen,
Charisse

I LOVE PAPER

I started scrapbooking in January 2005 after my last girlfriend in NYC moved to North Carolina and my then-husband told me that I needed to get a hobby because he wasnt going to keep me company. Yeah, wow! Despite the insensitivity, it was the best thing he could have said to me because I now have my artistic ventures and he was sent to his momma's house with what he came with, a plastic bag!!! (Kick Rocks Loser!!)

Anyway, thus began my love of paper. Scrapbooking papers are simply delicious! You just can't get enough of the colors, the designs, the textures, the countless coordinating combinations! I love it all! My first love was Basic Grey paper and I continue to love their unusual combinations and layers of color and pattern on each page. I also love old letter-type papers, like weathered advertisements and long lost love letters. There is a paper for each person out there, for each particular style a person may love.

My new love is Graphic 45's Fashionista and Communique lines. I love the bold colors and the vintage images! They are so vibrant and yummy! Me and Sassy Sasha got it bad! I ordered only one sheet of the Fashionista paper to see how good the color would be and I am stuck! They are so delicious! So now, I have to buy more!

Just wanted to let you all know just a little bit more about my hobbies, although with this one, I should be called more of a scrap paper hoarder than a scrapbooker!

LOL
Charisse

I Cried and So Did He...

I forgot to tell y'all that I did finally get to my mother's grave. I didnt take the kids because it was on the way back from Delaware. I went down to sign papers so the Diva could get her driver's permit. They have driver's ed down there.

Anywho, The Diva is now speaking to me which is a blessing to my heart. My Love, aka My Best Friend's Brother, drove down with me so I had company. On the way back to NY, I told him that I wanted to visit my mom's grave. I had to call my sister to ask her to look up the directions for me since I havent been in the longest time. She told me the directions and we were on our way!

After getting off the highway, we go down the road to Rose Hill Cemetery in NJ. One thing I do remember is the section my mom is buried in so I direct Love that way. Once we get over there though, I don't know which headstone is hers. I wander around in the general vicinity and feel very ashamed that I don't remember where she is and I start to walk back to the car. Love is sitting there watching me, but not judging me as I was embarrassed enough. I decide to turn back around though, and look once more, and there she is, Ms. Bernice, waiting for me to come to Mommy. I stand there for a minute in a kind of shock, reading the headstone over and over again. I had forgotten what was written on it, even though I was the one who provided it. I reached down and touched her headstone and then picked up the dried out, dead flowers that I know my youngest sister left there on her visit a month ago.

Then I start telling Mommy that I'm sorry, apologizing to her and asking her to forgive me for being such a terrible daughter and that I have done a really bad job with the kids and how I wish she was there to help me and tell me what to do, with the tears and boogers flowing. Then I ask her to forgive me one last time and I hear in my heart that she already has because that is what mommies do. ((Sigh)) So I tell her that I miss her so much. Then I feel something near me and turn to see Love standing to the right, behind me, crying too. I walk over to him, wipe his tears away, look back at Mommy and tell her with my heart that I love her and that I will come back with the kids soon, and Love and I hug-walk back to the car.

A weight was lifted that day that was on my heart for a while. I feel more free and open since and it is a good thing.

I will bring the kids out there soon, when the weather is better and warmer. Now wouldnt not be good because I am scared the Mommy Mobile might give out on the New Jersey Turnpike.

I told you I make stuff..

Find more videos like this on Mixed Media With Suzi Blu


I couldnt upload this to Youtube because it is too long so I uploaded it to my page on Suzi Blu's Ning Network! I hope you all like it. It ain't drunk painting like Adrienne gets to do ('cause I didnt go in the kitchen LOL) but it is fun!

Enjoy!
Charisse

Some Random Shots

The first three pictures are from being in Harlem, on the way to the Studio Museum in Harlem where you CANNOT take pictures. Oh well, there was life to be seen anyway. The last picture is of me and Donna Downey, scrapbooking artist.






Later
Charisse

Shorty Wop, Mr. Spinks & The Camel

So I got 3 Baby Daddies, right and they all have their own individual, personalized nicknames, but collectively they are know as "THE THREE STOOGES"!! Each actually personifies Moe, Larry and Curly too so it is kind of funny!

Like most girls, I never imagined I would have more than one father for my children but you know what, GOD's plan is what you follow when have all the facts!!! I know that now! I was in a long term relationship with two out of the three of them and so it wasnt one of those "mistakes" when I got pregnant. Each is happy for their child but Lord knows, you wouldn't know from their actions sometimes.

Mr. Spinks/Curly is the oldest one's father and he is quite the character. We met in '87 and had a tumultuous relationship that produced the Ms. Diva. Now, let me tell you, this man is not the best looking man. I mean, I thought he was good looking in his own way, but he was Far from "FINE". For example, when we were young, he got mistaken for Michael Spinks at a restaurant, and we got free food! Yeah, Spinks, as in the professional boxer, as in ugly! At the time he was very fit and muscular but now, he looks just like Curly (round and fat). LOL Anyway, Mr. Spinks was physically abusive and a serious cheater. Good combination, right? The man gave me a black eye when I was 6 months pregnant and was cheating on me with my co-worker. Uh, yeah, I made bad choices. Rihanna, can we talk? However, when Ms. Diva came, that was the ultimate catalyst for the end of our relationship. He decided to put his hands on me after I had warned him that it better not happen again. He even hit me while I was holding 5 month old Ms. Diva in my arms. I just took the hits and whispered in her ears that we wouldnt have to deal with it much longer. Ugghhh, yeah, just got a flashback but you know what? Once he left that day, he never came back! He has taken me to court over and over for visitation that he didnt show up for and currently owes me over $32K in back child support. But Ms. Diva is almost 17, beautiful and loved and that is all that matters.

The Camel/Larry was really good looking (6'3" tall, honey toned, about 210 pounds at the time), and we had one of those "in and out" relationships where he is into me for a few weeks, then disappears for a month and then shows up like no time passed. Yeah, craziness. I found out that he was out hustling, travelling state to state selling pharmaceuticals. Stupid ass! We had (and still have) this authentic and very real connection to each other, like we were meant to be in each other's lives, no matter what. We did the back and forth and I didnt really worry about him with other women but not spending real time together and him disappearing was really frustrating to me and I broke up with him at least twice that I remember. I ended up pregnant though and was going to get an abortion. I told The Camel and he came rushing to my momma's house and cried and begged me not to get rid of his baby! He promised to be there for me, not to disappear, to take care of me and like an ass, I believed him!!! Yeah, I believed him and our Poppa is going on 14 years old! The Camel is in and out of our lives as usual, but there is no doubt that he loves and adores his son (and holds an extra sweet spot for me). He is just as dense as Larry but his heart is in the right place, when he gets past the drama with his wifey! LOL Poor thing! Should have stuck around with me!

Shorty Wop/Moe was the one I ended up marrying and am getting ready to divorce. Why? Well the facade of leadership and strong personality was convincing for a while and I believed wholeheartedly. At the end though, he was dumber and denser than the other two but put up a really good front. He cheated, he lied, he manipulated, and together we created Little Momma, the baby. Our relationship was filled with all his other baby mamas and all the darned kids, and his BS but while he was with me, everyone was taken care of and he doted on all of the kids. Now that he is gone and still in denial about how bad things were, he does NOTHING for the kids and hasnt given me a dime in almost 2 years. His money was contingent on us being together, so nothing! That's alright though, 'cause Little Momma doesnt even ask about going to see him as much as she used to and is coming into her own. His loss, my gain!

So that's the story of Charisse and the Three Stooges for today and maybe one day, I will tell you about my life with Shemp aka My Best Friend's Brother aka The Man I am with now!

Peace and love!
Charisse

I got a PARKING TICKET in my OWN Parking Lot

Some stupid officer was trolling the parking lot last night, during the last minutes of the SuperBowl and gave me a parking ticket for not having a permit. Um, Hello, I live there! I would punch him in the mouth straight away if I didnt deserve the ticket, but still, I LIVE THERE!!!

OK, OK, let me explain more. I live in the PJs and my complex has ample parking for residents, which is great. The spots aren't assigned either, which is cool. The downside is that the lot isnt gated, or monitored regularly, and poorly lit. The parking permit was $25 up until 2 years ago, which is a good price for a year of not parking on the street. One big problem was that instead of getting the stickers in January like we were supposed to, we would get them in March or April! UM, ok, there is a problem here. We would get tickets, and then fight them so much that the cops STOPPED ticketing us because it wasnt the fault of the tenants. Add to that, the fact that the snow and ice removal was half-assed, and you see potential for not getting a permit, but still $25 is not much.

Well, 2 years ago, they raised the price of the permit to $75. Yeah, $75 for the same half-assed service in snow removal, lighting, sticker problem, everything. I flat out refused to pay for the permit and have been parking in the lot free for the past 2 years! (I told you the cops stopped ticketing people!) So imagine my surprise this morning when my youngest pointed out the ticket sitting in my window as we headed out for the day! I was pissed!

HOW DARE THEY TICKET ME??? I LIVE HERE!!!
WHAT WAS A COP DOING PATROLLING A PARKING LOT AT 9:28PM INSTEAD OF OUT FINDING WHO KILLED SO AND SO'S SON, COUSIN, NEPHEW, ETC???
DON'T Y'ALL HAVE OTHER STUFF TO BE DOING, LIKE EATING DONUTS?
DON'T BE MAD 'CAUSE YOU HAD TO WORK WHILE EVERYONE ELSE GOT TO WATCH THE SUPERBOWL! WHY I OUGHTA...!

Yeah, all of that came to mind, and some out of my mouth, but at the end of the day, here it is....

I have a $60 parking ticket to pay because I now have out of state plates and am unable to get the parking permit that would allow me to park there hassle free.

I will park on the street because I know this dude is gonna be stalking my plates now!

Whatever!! :)
Charisse